Who's church

busybeehelpers · 04-07-2007, 08:03 PM

Who's church do you think my husband and I should get married in? I am Lutheran and he is non-denominational (Christian). We both have a long history at our churces and our families/parents went to the Churches.

fitnessk · 04-07-2007, 08:04 PM

This is something youneed to discuss carefully. Also you can probably get the ministers from both churches to take part in the ceremony.

etali · 04-09-2007, 05:53 PM

That is a tough one. Does the marriage have to be in a church? I think perhaps a non-religious location, and a ceremony that honoured both faiths might be the best bet.

cesc · 04-09-2007, 11:40 PM

It's the couples decision...but I think the male usually wins...although he might give in to his wife's preference.

mtatum4496 · 04-10-2007, 04:35 PM

I am sensing that both of you have strong ties to your faith communities and what they teach and how they do things. Would it be possible to have the ministers from both churches officiate at the wedding and hold it at a neutral location? You can always have receptions at both of the churches later on; there is no iron clad rule that says the reception has to be right after the ceremony.

mamab · 04-28-2007, 06:33 PM

In the US, generally the wife's parents pay for the wedding, so in that respect, I would think that the service would be at the wife's church. You can hold a reception at the husband's church. I would also suggest that both ministers participate in the wedding, although how that works out is for you and them to decide.

mtatum4496 · 05-17-2007, 02:16 PM

I didn't think about this before, since I was thinking more in terms of the Evangelical Lutheran Church, but there are other Lutheran bodies that are not particularly open to working with the minister of another faith. So what would one do in a situation where at least one of the fiath's was not open to working with the other? Maybe go for neutral territory and find a minister of a third faith who has not problem with performing a multiple faith wedding ceremony?

katharina · 05-17-2007, 02:53 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by mamab

In the US, generally the wife's parents pay for the wedding, so in that respect, I would think that the service would be at the wife's church. You can hold a reception at the husband's church. I would also suggest that both ministers participate in the wedding, although how that works out is for you and them to decide.

This is what I was thinking, too... if it's not traditional though, and the bride and groom are paying for the wedding or some other arrangement, I like the idea about a neutral location with both ministers taking part in the ceremony.

happy2bg33k · 05-18-2007, 02:50 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by etali

That is a tough one. Does the marriage have to be in a church? I think perhaps a non-religious location, and a ceremony that honoured both faiths might be the best bet.

That's a very good suggestion. My husband was raised Catholic, I was raised Jewish and both of us sort of gravitated to a Unitarian Universalism church. We were married in a non-secular ceremony by a UU minister in the hotel where we also had our reception. It was lovely and everyone was happy.

mamab · 05-18-2007, 06:07 PM

I was married by the pastor of the church I attended at the time (Baptist) at the college campus chapel. My husband was raised Church of Christ, but that didn't seem to matter a whole lot. He didn't attend services much while we were in college. So basically, the chapel was "neutral territory." The reception was in the chapel study.

04-07-2007, 08:03 PM	#1 (permalink)
busybeehelpers Junior Member Join Date: Apr 2007 Posts: 15	Who's church Who's church do you think my husband and I should get married in? I am Lutheran and he is non-denominational (Christian). We both have a long history at our churces and our families/parents went to the Churches.

04-07-2007, 08:04 PM	#2 (permalink)
fitnessk Junior Member Join Date: Apr 2007 Posts: 25	Re: Who's church This is something youneed to discuss carefully. Also you can probably get the ministers from both churches to take part in the ceremony.

04-09-2007, 05:53 PM	#3 (permalink)
etali Member Join Date: Apr 2007 Posts: 31	Re: Who's church That is a tough one. Does the marriage have to be in a church? I think perhaps a non-religious location, and a ceremony that honoured both faiths might be the best bet.

04-09-2007, 11:40 PM	#4 (permalink)
cesc Member Join Date: Apr 2007 Posts: 50	Re: Who's church It's the couples decision...but I think the male usually wins...although he might give in to his wife's preference.

04-10-2007, 04:35 PM	#5 (permalink)
mtatum4496 Member Join Date: Nov 2006 Posts: 51	Re: Who's church I am sensing that both of you have strong ties to your faith communities and what they teach and how they do things. Would it be possible to have the ministers from both churches officiate at the wedding and hold it at a neutral location? You can always have receptions at both of the churches later on; there is no iron clad rule that says the reception has to be right after the ceremony.

04-28-2007, 06:33 PM	#6 (permalink)
mamab Junior Member Join Date: Mar 2007 Posts: 25	Re: Who's church In the US, generally the wife's parents pay for the wedding, so in that respect, I would think that the service would be at the wife's church. You can hold a reception at the husband's church. I would also suggest that both ministers participate in the wedding, although how that works out is for you and them to decide.

05-17-2007, 02:16 PM	#7 (permalink)
mtatum4496 Member Join Date: Nov 2006 Posts: 51	Re: Who's church I didn't think about this before, since I was thinking more in terms of the Evangelical Lutheran Church, but there are other Lutheran bodies that are not particularly open to working with the minister of another faith. So what would one do in a situation where at least one of the fiath's was not open to working with the other? Maybe go for neutral territory and find a minister of a third faith who has not problem with performing a multiple faith wedding ceremony?

05-18-2007, 06:07 PM	#10 (permalink)
mamab Junior Member Join Date: Mar 2007 Posts: 25	Re: Who's church I was married by the pastor of the church I attended at the time (Baptist) at the college campus chapel. My husband was raised Church of Christ, but that didn't seem to matter a whole lot. He didn't attend services much while we were in college. So basically, the chapel was "neutral territory." The reception was in the chapel study.