Husband can't afford

fitnessk · 04-06-2007, 07:04 PM

I have a friend who is newly married. Her husband does not make a lot of money. He is a smart guy and has a college education. However, he lacks self confidence and makes very little money. I am worried they won't be able to afford a life together. IS it ok for her to ask him to try for a better job?

busybeehelpers · 04-07-2007, 08:00 PM

I think that it is ok for her to discuss the possibility of him looking for a better job. As long as she is doing all she can to help with the finances I see nothing wrong with this.

fitnessk · 04-07-2007, 08:15 PM

Your view is pretty much how I think too. As long as my friend is doing everything that she is able to do,

luvcamerasnic · 04-09-2007, 03:30 AM

However, that decision shoudl be between your friend and her hubby, not you. She might be asking your opinion, and that is fine, but if not, then you should let them decide.

etali · 04-09-2007, 05:37 PM

Does he enjoy the job?

Money isn't everything. If he loves the job and they aren't starving / out on the streets then maybe it's better that way? If he doesn't like the job or its just a stopgap then sure, she should encourage him to look for a better one and support him in whatever he decides to go for.

That's my opinion anyway.

katharina · 05-23-2007, 01:55 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by etali

Does he enjoy the job?

Money isn't everything. If he loves the job and they aren't starving / out on the streets then maybe it's better that way? If he doesn't like the job or its just a stopgap then sure, she should encourage him to look for a better one and support him in whatever he decides to go for.

I agree with this. Enjoying a job and not dreading getting up every morning means a lot. If a job or career is changed just to make more money, it often ends up being so full of stress that everything else in life starts falling apart.

mtatum4496 · 05-23-2007, 02:40 PM

I wonder - is his current job in line with his educational background, where there is a chance for advancement? Or was this a job that generated enough income to meet his needs when he was single?

It may be that he is a person who simply does not need a lot. Or it may be that at one time he tried to take a bite of the apple and got his knuckles rapped pretty hard. A good place to start is for your friend to get him to talk about what he likes about his job and see if in fact there might be some chances to translate those same likable things into a setting that pays a little better. Bottom line is he may be happy with the job, or he may be settling for some reason. Knowing someone believes in him might be the motivation he needs to try for something better suited in both environment and pay.

happy2bg33k · 05-24-2007, 01:22 PM

I'm a big believer in happiness being the most important factor. If you can say you have a roof over your head, can pay your bills and can eat and are very happy maybe there's nothing wrong with that. I spent a lot of time working too many hours and making better money but being miserable and missing out on the rest of my life. If they're okay with the way things are then it's probably fine.

FourBear · 05-25-2007, 04:03 AM

I agree that happiness shouldn't be dependent on wealth, but any stress over finances can put a strain on any relationship. Your friend and her husband need to have a frank talk. If he really isn't making enough to sustain their level of living, he should consider finding a better-paying job that he would enjoy.

katharina · 05-25-2007, 01:45 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by FourBear

I agree that happiness shouldn't be dependent on wealth, but any stress over finances can put a strain on any relationship. Your friend and her husband need to have a frank talk. If he really isn't making enough to sustain their level of living, he should consider finding a better-paying job that he would enjoy.

It's really the classic catch22, isn't it? You need to work too much to make enough money to keep up a certain lifestyle but without that lifestyle, there are other kinds of stresses.

04-06-2007, 07:04 PM	#1 (permalink)
fitnessk Junior Member Join Date: Apr 2007 Posts: 25	Husband can't afford I have a friend who is newly married. Her husband does not make a lot of money. He is a smart guy and has a college education. However, he lacks self confidence and makes very little money. I am worried they won't be able to afford a life together. IS it ok for her to ask him to try for a better job?

04-07-2007, 08:00 PM	#2 (permalink)
busybeehelpers Junior Member Join Date: Apr 2007 Posts: 15	Re: Husband can't afford I think that it is ok for her to discuss the possibility of him looking for a better job. As long as she is doing all she can to help with the finances I see nothing wrong with this.

04-07-2007, 08:15 PM	#3 (permalink)
fitnessk Junior Member Join Date: Apr 2007 Posts: 25	Re: Husband can't afford Your view is pretty much how I think too. As long as my friend is doing everything that she is able to do,

04-09-2007, 03:30 AM	#4 (permalink)
luvcamerasnic Junior Member Join Date: Mar 2007 Posts: 17	Re: Husband can't afford However, that decision shoudl be between your friend and her hubby, not you. She might be asking your opinion, and that is fine, but if not, then you should let them decide.

04-09-2007, 05:37 PM	#5 (permalink)
etali Member Join Date: Apr 2007 Posts: 31	Re: Husband can't afford Does he enjoy the job? Money isn't everything. If he loves the job and they aren't starving / out on the streets then maybe it's better that way? If he doesn't like the job or its just a stopgap then sure, she should encourage him to look for a better one and support him in whatever he decides to go for. That's my opinion anyway.

05-23-2007, 02:40 PM	#7 (permalink)
mtatum4496 Member Join Date: Nov 2006 Posts: 51	Re: Husband can't afford I wonder - is his current job in line with his educational background, where there is a chance for advancement? Or was this a job that generated enough income to meet his needs when he was single? It may be that he is a person who simply does not need a lot. Or it may be that at one time he tried to take a bite of the apple and got his knuckles rapped pretty hard. A good place to start is for your friend to get him to talk about what he likes about his job and see if in fact there might be some chances to translate those same likable things into a setting that pays a little better. Bottom line is he may be happy with the job, or he may be settling for some reason. Knowing someone believes in him might be the motivation he needs to try for something better suited in both environment and pay.

05-24-2007, 01:22 PM	#8 (permalink)
happy2bg33k Junior Member Join Date: Mar 2007 Posts: 20	Re: Husband can't afford I'm a big believer in happiness being the most important factor. If you can say you have a roof over your head, can pay your bills and can eat and are very happy maybe there's nothing wrong with that. I spent a lot of time working too many hours and making better money but being miserable and missing out on the rest of my life. If they're okay with the way things are then it's probably fine.

05-25-2007, 04:03 AM	#9 (permalink)
FourBear Member Join Date: Nov 2006 Posts: 56	Re: Husband can't afford I agree that happiness shouldn't be dependent on wealth, but any stress over finances can put a strain on any relationship. Your friend and her husband need to have a frank talk. If he really isn't making enough to sustain their level of living, he should consider finding a better-paying job that he would enjoy.