Jewish - Catholic Wedding

terziella · 02-07-2007, 02:29 PM

My fiance and I have been going out for almost 6 yrs and we got engaged a yr ago. God only knows how much I love him.... however, lately, he's been pushing for a wedding date since we haven't decided on one yet... I do want to marry him but the problem is... my religion is Catholic and I am a Filipina (from the Philippines). My fiance is Jewish (not that religious) and he's an indian (from India/Israel)... How is this wedding gonna work? Neither one of us want to convert. Please help!!! Thanks!

saralee · 02-15-2007, 10:41 PM

I am not sure it can work, unless you are willing to compromise. If you cannot agree on how to get married, how will you agree how to celebrate holidays or raise children. Are either of you willing to have either a Filipina or Jewish wedding, but not convert. Or maybe pieces of each's traditions could be combined. You may have trouble finding someone to do that type of service. I think you two need some pre-marital counseling to see if you can make this work.

abeterz · 02-25-2007, 02:44 PM

I take it from your posting that since you say he is not religious In my opinion he should be in a position to compromise. But given that he is not religious now.. even though he may convert to Catholic for you would you expect him to be very religious going forward ?. I suggest you discuss that with him. If he is not religious he probably does not care to have a jewish style wedding either. Then... he may consider a catholic style wedding too. Sometime love has its ways....have that discussion. I hope it works out for you.

philoSCIFI · 02-28-2007, 10:00 PM

First off, I know a couple Catholic/Jewish couples including a first degree aunt and uncle. Like you she is Filipina and her husband of over 20 years is Jewish. So, it can work.

I believe they had 2 formal weddings in addition to the government paperwork. There was a ceramony for the Jewish side as well as a ceremony for the Catholic side. I think it was a shared celebration with both families after the wedding(s), though I'm not entirely sure... would probably have saved some money though.

If the two of you can't afford to have 2 weddings, perhaps there can be a compromise as someone stated earlier.

In my aunt and uncles situation regards to religious beliefs, there were probably some rough times I'm sure. But they got through them. I'm not particularly sure about the Jewish side of the story, but I know as a practicing Catholic with a strong Filipino Catholic family, my uncle agreed to the usual marriage conseling prior to the catholic wedding. He was even a good sport about the wedding traditions like that cloak and cord thing (sorry, don't know what its called exactly

).

They have 2 kids - a son and daughter. They brought them up celebrating both religions. Christianity did come from Judaism, so there were some nice overlapping holidays. For those Hannuka(sp) and Christmas celebrations, they also did both. As the kids got older, they can choose which religion they wish to be.

I know there are some very specific religious conflictions and contradictions, but you can always discuss them when they arise.

I think I've rambled enough. Best of luck to you and your fiance. Congratulations and all the best.

saralee · 03-01-2007, 05:04 PM

If you don't have a good counselor locally, check out divorcebusting.com, they have great coaches. I talked to someone a while back for my situation, and it was so helpful and easy to do, since I could call in. They work with marriage and pre-married couples. It would be to your benefit to talk to someone not emotionally involved in your situation as soon as possible. Good luck.

02-07-2007, 02:29 PM	#1 (permalink)
terziella Junior Member Join Date: Feb 2007 Posts: 2	Jewish - Catholic Wedding My fiance and I have been going out for almost 6 yrs and we got engaged a yr ago. God only knows how much I love him.... however, lately, he's been pushing for a wedding date since we haven't decided on one yet... I do want to marry him but the problem is... my religion is Catholic and I am a Filipina (from the Philippines). My fiance is Jewish (not that religious) and he's an indian (from India/Israel)... How is this wedding gonna work? Neither one of us want to convert. Please help!!! Thanks! Last edited by terziella; 02-08-2007 at 12:37 PM.

02-15-2007, 10:41 PM	#2 (permalink)
saralee Junior Member Join Date: Feb 2007 Posts: 3	Re: Jewish - Catholic Wedding I am not sure it can work, unless you are willing to compromise. If you cannot agree on how to get married, how will you agree how to celebrate holidays or raise children. Are either of you willing to have either a Filipina or Jewish wedding, but not convert. Or maybe pieces of each's traditions could be combined. You may have trouble finding someone to do that type of service. I think you two need some pre-marital counseling to see if you can make this work.

02-25-2007, 02:44 PM	#3 (permalink)
abeterz Junior Member Join Date: Feb 2007 Posts: 2	Re: Jewish - Catholic Wedding I take it from your posting that since you say he is not religious In my opinion he should be in a position to compromise. But given that he is not religious now.. even though he may convert to Catholic for you would you expect him to be very religious going forward ?. I suggest you discuss that with him. If he is not religious he probably does not care to have a jewish style wedding either. Then... he may consider a catholic style wedding too. Sometime love has its ways....have that discussion. I hope it works out for you.

02-28-2007, 10:00 PM	#4 (permalink)
philoSCIFI Super Moderator Join Date: Feb 2007 Posts: 23	Re: Jewish - Catholic Wedding First off, I know a couple Catholic/Jewish couples including a first degree aunt and uncle. Like you she is Filipina and her husband of over 20 years is Jewish. So, it can work. I believe they had 2 formal weddings in addition to the government paperwork. There was a ceramony for the Jewish side as well as a ceremony for the Catholic side. I think it was a shared celebration with both families after the wedding(s), though I'm not entirely sure... would probably have saved some money though. If the two of you can't afford to have 2 weddings, perhaps there can be a compromise as someone stated earlier. In my aunt and uncles situation regards to religious beliefs, there were probably some rough times I'm sure. But they got through them. I'm not particularly sure about the Jewish side of the story, but I know as a practicing Catholic with a strong Filipino Catholic family, my uncle agreed to the usual marriage conseling prior to the catholic wedding. He was even a good sport about the wedding traditions like that cloak and cord thing (sorry, don't know what its called exactly ). They have 2 kids - a son and daughter. They brought them up celebrating both religions. Christianity did come from Judaism, so there were some nice overlapping holidays. For those Hannuka(sp) and Christmas celebrations, they also did both. As the kids got older, they can choose which religion they wish to be. I know there are some very specific religious conflictions and contradictions, but you can always discuss them when they arise. I think I've rambled enough. Best of luck to you and your fiance. Congratulations and all the best.

03-01-2007, 05:04 PM	#5 (permalink)
saralee Junior Member Join Date: Feb 2007 Posts: 3	Re: Jewish - Catholic Wedding If you don't have a good counselor locally, check out divorcebusting.com, they have great coaches. I talked to someone a while back for my situation, and it was so helpful and easy to do, since I could call in. They work with marriage and pre-married couples. It would be to your benefit to talk to someone not emotionally involved in your situation as soon as possible. Good luck.